I guess I’m the FOB in the relationship
October 27th, 2009
You may have picked up on this in my post on how I met my husband… I mentioned that I was surprised that although he’s from overseas he had really good English and he knew lingo that only someone who’s grown up here would be able to grasp.
There is a running joke between us that I’m the “FOB” and what that means is “fresh off the boat”. I think in other places people use terms like “boaters” but I’m sticking with FOB cause that’s what I know.
Anyhow, this is not meant to offend anyone so please do not take this as offensive. If you’re easily offended then I would suggest not reading any further.
So basically what happened was when we were getting to know each other my mom one time said out loud in front of Abdullah, “Wow you’re not a FOB”.
Abdullah was taken aback and was like, “Am I supposed to be a FOB?”
My dad would be considered a FOB since he came from overseas as well, but of course my mom doesn’t count him in the equation.
“No, I mean you have good taste. You wear Ecco shoes.”
Abdullah and I always laugh at this because we don’t know how my mom decided that the standard for someone whether they are a FOB or not is based on the brand name of shoes.
Basically when people think of a FOB it’s someone who’s taste is not Westernized. I’m sure there are plenty of people from overseas who have a sophisticated sense of style and taste and yes this is a stereotype. And I’m sure there are plenty of people who have grown up in the West who would be considered a FOB (ahem).
One example is when I went shopping with my mom and my husband. We were at Filene’s Basement checking out the deals and my mom was so excited to find these long nightgowns on sale. I went over to look and they were not that bad, but Abdullah thought otherwise.
“Those are so falahi” (in the Arab world that means peasant and peasants are considered to be FOB).
My mother was offended. “Not they’re not, these are Laura Ashley!”
Abdullah wouldn’t let it go. “Who cares? Those funky flowers all over. It’s so old fashioned. Like something from the 1900’s.”
I didn’t say anything because I was almost getting sucked into the deal. But after I looked at the nightgowns some more I realized that Abdullah was right.
Who would have thought? Seriously I never thought men would be able to give good fashion advice, but Abdullah is usually right on track.
This post may seem completely random, but I just wanted to share with you that you should never judge a book by its cover.
Sure we hear that all the time and we may personally believe that we’re doing a good job of following that piece of advice, yet we can always be surprised by our own personal judgments of others.
Have you ever been surprised by someone or something? Did you ever have one perception and then have it challenged or changed because you allowed yourself to learn more about the person/situation?
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I am a American Muslim. Born and raised; coming of age in the 60’s and 70’s listening to the Motown sound, John Coltrane and some rock, maybe.
For many years, I listen to Celia Cruz. Her music gets me up when I would rather sleep, moving when I want to couch potato and most importantly, makes me happy when I am sad. It’s corny. But true. On countless ocassions, I have enjoyed the response of others, surprised and sometimes ecstatic that she is my No. 1. Lady of Song. Especially when folks stop at a red light, peek into my Hyundai and are stunned at the hijabi lady of a certain age rocking “La Negra Tiene Tumbao”.
Azucar!
Umm Hussain, you’re too cute!
I’d love to see you rocking that song lol.
hmm.. FOB… i was born overseas but i’m hoping i’m not considered a fob
i guess I was afraid my husband would be too fobbish but he definitely knows more about style and clothes than I do. I always come home with my shopping and get his opinion on what’s good and what to return back to the store because although he was raised overseas, I guess when you’re “well off” and living overseas you tend to dress American and you’re more westernized.